Future Plans and What it Means to Have Them

     So I hear one of the things that suicidal people do is stop planning for the future. It's one of the first signs of someone who is planning on attempting suicide and it's a good telltale sign of depression overall if they stop planning things.

     And since one of the main reasons I'm even writing in this blog is to do what it takes to NOT commit (or attempt) suicide, I'm going to make a list of future plans I have. These are kinda like a bucket list or a resolution in a sense.

1. I want to keep walking and eventually start losing some weight through it. I'm at about 185 right now and I want to get down to 170 at least.

2. I want to learn how to do makeup. It's something I've always been fascinated by, I've done great work with Halloween makeup and I want to master contouring/natural makeup now.

3. I want to convert my room into a recording studio. I am currently trying to cut down the sound as much as possible on a very low budget and organize my things to create a place to record videos for YouTube and anything else like that.

4. I want to draw more. My abstract drawing has decreased and I want to not only improve at that but I want to learn how to draw real things better too.

5. I want to learn the piano. I'm currently letting a friend borrow my keyboard but when I get it back, I want to take some of my free time to learn how to make music.

6. I want to take voice lessons. I am going to be transitioning and want to learn how to train my voice to sound more feminine and I also want to learn how to sing better.

7. I want to transition. That's a big one that is seemingly inevitable right now but not completely out of the question that I could decide not to go through with. If I decide not to for whatever reason, this will turn into doing what it takes to be happy, overall the decision to transition to as feminine as I am physically able (because I get 'you can't truly become a woman no matter what you do' and I thoroughly understand that)

8. I want to build something, or better; take something old and make something else out of it. I'm a huge fan of thrift shops for that reason.

9. Going along with #3, I want o make YouTube videos regularly. Certain things have slowed my video making down to a crawl and I am working to fix those issues currently.

10. And finally, I want to write and shoot a short film. I have multiple ideas for short films and my goal is to finish scripting them and eventually shoot at least one with a bonus plan of hosting another film showing somewhere.
*If anyone reading this is a writer and would be interested in assisting this goal, I am in need of other minds so please feel free to send an email to vjtwentytwo@yahoo.com. Thanks.