Update on Layla Jade Gilmore

     Update on my life: 

Today, Monday October 2nd 2017, I took as trip to Philadelphia, PA. I woke up at...well, I woke up about 6 times between 3am and 5:45 before giving up on sleeping.

I got dressed and I left my place at about 6:30. Because I'm used to riding my bike, I underestimated my timing and had to run to the train. Luckily I was about 2 minutes early and got on, taking the ride to Camden before getting off and taking the patco to Philly. I prayed a lot while sitting/standing on the trains.

     So I'm standing in Center City and I look up the Mazzoni Center, the place I had an appointment set since last January or February, on google.

Address found and google maps brought up. 

Walking there, I feel nervous. 

Nervouser. 

Nervousest.

What's more nervous than nervousest?

Yeah, that...I was that

     So the scene is set: I'm standing in front of the Mazzoni building, the place I've never been and kinda thought it wasn't real in a weird way. I talked to a receptionist there so long ago, I didn't think this day would ever come. I'm standing in front of the building and decide that because I'm over an hour early, I'll go get something to eat at 7/11.

One apple fritter later, I come back and look at the outside of the building again. It looks dark and mysterious...till I realize it IS dark, not so mysterious. It's just dark.

There were no lights on and I finally realized there was a sign on the window, "The Mazzoni Center has moved to..." many blocks away.

...that's just great. Good job, VJ. Time to run a few blocks. The good thing is in Center City, you really can't do much to look crazier than most of the people there. So I didn't worry as I made my way across town. I bobbed and weaved through the street and sidewalk and through the crowds till I found the street and FINALLY saw their logo on a building and went in.

Once inside, things went really smoothly. The receptionist directed me upstairs and I filled out paperwork as a new patient.

I was called to a room pretty quickly and got a few basic tests done, checked my blood pressure and then I waited for my Dr.

Dr. Gross came in and we talked about my family history and my personal past and then she got into the possible side effects and positive changes from estrogen/testosterone blocking as a male-to-female patient. I signed some things and listened to all of the possible negatives and understood them.

Then I got some blood work done and waited a few minutes to see another Dr. I told her as much of my family history and my personal mental/medical history as I could and explained every detail of my personal situation involving growing up with a bottled up and deep secret at all times.

And after all was over, I walked out with another appointment set up and an idea of what to expect from here on. Some of the things I was afraid of have been explained and some things I will have to keep up with as I start taking hormones in the near future.

     As a very nervous and scared person who was going into something COMPLETELY unknown, everyone there treated me with love and respect. From the receptionist up to each Dr that spoke with me to the people who just directed me where to go, I never once felt like a mental patient or like they were judging me.

I was pretty scared about that and before anyone says anything about mental illness, I am aware that this is not completely physical and I will not pretend that science is false and that I was born a female in some way. BUT I do know that this is a safe and progressive way to help something that is wrong both physically and mentally

I am going to be taking advantage of therapy/support groups they offer as much as I'm able and my next appointment is in a few weeks. One thing I'm really excited for is something they told me about, I'm going to legally change my name soon.

Well, I will add more updates as things progress 

and I thank anyone and everyone who reads this.

I appreciate any prayers and good thoughts 

coming my way too. Thanks and as always...