So in a few weeks, I went from: having a really great friend, a community that meant the world to me, a job that I was proud of and a plan to having no job (at least a tthe moment), no best friend kinda people and I just moved to a new town. Oh and the community I was invested in is now in question.
Oh and I'm staying away from virtually all social media for an indefinite ambiguous amount of time, and I never knew just how much it affects my world to not be on almost any social media platforms.
I was doing ok during the day today, I went for a bike ride where I saw a bunch of really cool stuff and places in the town I just moved to, but tonight was/is really rough. I'm alone. Like no one in a million miles/pretty sure everyone who has ever interacted with me has forgotten completely that I ever existed/even watching stuff I really like doesn't even come close to quenching that need I have for people even though I push people away before I realize just how much I pushed them away.
Wow, that was a lot, and for a bonus it really hurt to write all that.
I need to change. My personality, my heart, my...geez everything. I always knew I suck but boy did I underestimate just how much I suck. To anyone who has had to put up with me, I'm sorry. You're a saint for not leaving sooner.
Damn. I'm not even sad I'm just...damn.
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