I Dreamt a Dream Last Night

     I had a dream last night, Friday February 16th, 2018:

I was in the middle of a dream about my church starting a petting zoo full of very interesting animals. There were giant owls and all kinds of furry things that were very nice to kids and in the middle of it, two guys started to have a catch. They made a competition of it and were having fun  when I saw two girls walking and arguing. One was holding a hockey stick and I yelled to everyone at the zoo, "Hey! I'm having a memory! Stop. That's a memory,.not a dream."

The entire zoo art my church and the two guys having a catch and everyone at my church stopped as if they were all on break at a job while I walked toward these two girls, one was a tall girl with red hair and the other was a shorter girl with dirty blonde hair, and they were arguing over who gets to keep a hockey stick. It was my old hockey stick and the shorter girl was someone I dated a very long time ago, a girl I loved very deeply.

They were yelling and the shorter girl was crying while the taller girl was just angry; I interrupted them, "Hey, hey. You can stop fighting. Please stop fighting or being sad." The tall girl dropped the stick and I continued, "You both get to be happy. You both get to get what you want, you get to be happy in your life. Without me."

The tall girl looked bored with the conversation and walked away uncaringly. The shorter girl was crying and didn't understand, "You get to have what you want, and be really truly happy." I said calmly.

She tried to come close enough to me to hug or something, looking for some kind of affection but I stopped her respectfully, "You get to have what you want, you get to really be happy. You get to." She was calming down and starting to understand the gravity of my words, realizing I meant in her future and not that I was just dumping her or something like that.

"And...I'm gonna be a girl." she looked shocked and confused by that. She stopped crying completely and slowly was growing into the idea that she was going to get to be happy. She didn't even ask about what I said about myself, she just accepted that and was walking away from me.

I remember feeling sad that she was walking away, not because I wanted her to stay with me but that I didn't want to be alone. She walked far enough that I couldn't see her anymore and the whole time, she was getting happier and happier.

Then I woke up. Feeling nostalgic and really sad and kinda happy for her in a depressing way and lonely. Lonely.