OK so it's taken me a few days to work through some of the emotional things I've been going through and I'm trying to calmly assess my current life.
In some aspects, everything is changing and I've come to a crossroad that will shape how life goes from this moment on; meaning that I have the opportunity to decide things like am I going to continue going to church even though it's not the one I've considered mine for 18 years
(the answer is yes, I just have to find one that is willing to accept trans people), how am I going to go about making new friends, what I'm going to plan for my future...etc.
I do have a few constants that I've been blessed to have still, some friends who have not only accepted my decision to (in my opinion) better my life but have helped me to be a happier person and helped aim me toward good things.
I also have some things going for me that, this is where it sounds like I'm bragging but I promise I'm not exactly:
-I'm smart in some kinda important ways. I know I've been a survivor most of my life and have
been smart enough to find a way to make it even through being homeless at times and in some really scary situations and I also consider myself an intellectual thinker...well I've been trying to make myself one anyway. I ask questions that cause thought and a "think outside the box" mentality. As a kid, I ran from any kind of thought or work and have since been working on building up a work ethic and a better brain.
-I've got a small and growing group of friends who I cannot express just how much they mean to me. The friends who have stuck by me even in my transition have my full and unconditionally support. I'm working on creating a new bond with old and new friends while still respecting the people around me.
-The few things I'm confident about I know I'm good at them. I know that I'm a good photographer, I don't need to prove that over and over or worry because I know it. I know I'm at least decent at making friends and being a good supportive friend. And to add on to this, I've always made it important to see things from other's points of view; something I think more people should try to do.
And another thing I'm thinking abouty and working on dealing with is the future. The future...it sounds like something so small or unimportant but to think about it means you expect it and it can be MONUMENTAL or scary or...anything.
So MY future plans, which I do expect to attempt, involve travel and learning a lot. I am planning a trip at this moment (not telling where or when because I don't want to jinx it) and I am working on expanding my mind in a bunch of ways.
Ohhh! And I'm working on writing a lot right now and I'm considering looking for ways to share it with the world somehow. I'm very excited about creating a world that someone could relate to or enjoy or like. More news about this as I get closer to something to share.
One of the best parts about talking 'future' is that I'm planning it and hoping for it and wanting to see what's next. For a long time I didn't think I'd see 29 or 36 or anyhting worth seeing in the future. Progress of the mind.
Because I'm terrible at finishing anything, I'm just going to stop here and ask for your prayers and thoughts and good vibes. Thanks.
In some aspects, everything is changing and I've come to a crossroad that will shape how life goes from this moment on; meaning that I have the opportunity to decide things like am I going to continue going to church even though it's not the one I've considered mine for 18 years
(the answer is yes, I just have to find one that is willing to accept trans people), how am I going to go about making new friends, what I'm going to plan for my future...etc.
I do have a few constants that I've been blessed to have still, some friends who have not only accepted my decision to (in my opinion) better my life but have helped me to be a happier person and helped aim me toward good things.
I also have some things going for me that, this is where it sounds like I'm bragging but I promise I'm not exactly:
-I'm smart in some kinda important ways. I know I've been a survivor most of my life and have
been smart enough to find a way to make it even through being homeless at times and in some really scary situations and I also consider myself an intellectual thinker...well I've been trying to make myself one anyway. I ask questions that cause thought and a "think outside the box" mentality. As a kid, I ran from any kind of thought or work and have since been working on building up a work ethic and a better brain.-I've got a small and growing group of friends who I cannot express just how much they mean to me. The friends who have stuck by me even in my transition have my full and unconditionally support. I'm working on creating a new bond with old and new friends while still respecting the people around me.
-The few things I'm confident about I know I'm good at them. I know that I'm a good photographer, I don't need to prove that over and over or worry because I know it. I know I'm at least decent at making friends and being a good supportive friend. And to add on to this, I've always made it important to see things from other's points of view; something I think more people should try to do.
And another thing I'm thinking abouty and working on dealing with is the future. The future...it sounds like something so small or unimportant but to think about it means you expect it and it can be MONUMENTAL or scary or...anything.
So MY future plans, which I do expect to attempt, involve travel and learning a lot. I am planning a trip at this moment (not telling where or when because I don't want to jinx it) and I am working on expanding my mind in a bunch of ways.
Ohhh! And I'm working on writing a lot right now and I'm considering looking for ways to share it with the world somehow. I'm very excited about creating a world that someone could relate to or enjoy or like. More news about this as I get closer to something to share.
One of the best parts about talking 'future' is that I'm planning it and hoping for it and wanting to see what's next. For a long time I didn't think I'd see 29 or 36 or anyhting worth seeing in the future. Progress of the mind.
Because I'm terrible at finishing anything, I'm just going to stop here and ask for your prayers and thoughts and good vibes. Thanks.
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