I have not been suicidal in months; I haven't had any thoughts of ending myself even in a passing manner in such a long time. Ever since I was a little kid, my thoughts lined up with the philosophy "if something happens and there's any kind of danger, I don't care about risking my life or putting myself in between anyone else and life threatening situations. Now that's a great thing to do but the reason I did that was because I didn't care about me, not because I was selflessly protecting others.
The difference between then and now isn't that I don't want to protect others or that I would save myself...BUT now I am honestly looking to live my life instead of imagining a scenario (a very very rare situation, despite what it looks like on the news. In all truth, it's not an everyday occurance that a life or death situation happens) I want to think about the positive possibilities, encourage people and focus on the good things this world has to offer.I've spent enough time thinking about what can go wrong or what the worst case scenarios are, I am and have been for a while now actually enjoying life. And to anyone who has thought about suicide or anywho who feels hopeless or stuck or in any kind of bad situation, please know that ther eis always a way for things to get better. All it takes is thinking positive and baby steps toward positivity. It doesn't happen all in one day and you will fall back at times, but you can make it. You will make it. If I can go from a 9 year old trying to jump to my death to get out of living my life to the person I am today, than you can find a way to out live your depression and actually live instead of existing.
Good. Nothing can change if you end your life. Alive, anything is possible and the possibilities are infinite. Glad you are focusing on the positive, in my experience, it tends to promote more positives.
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