So I feel that a few things need to be said, since my reputation has been destroyed in the last few months. I don't expect anyone to read this but in the event that anyone wants to hear my side of things, here it is with the utmost respect for everyone.
First, I have never and will never use anyone to gain anything for myself. I think that is dispicable and should be punishable with the height of the law. And families dealing with any medical or delicate trouble should be fully protected and helped, they should never have to deal with anyone using them to gain anything at all in any way. I stand by that and whether I'm able to speak out on these topics or not, I will never allow anyone to do this and the standard I hold for myself is much higher than even this.
I had my voice taken away (partly because of myself and my wrong actions and partly because there were rumors going around and very few even gave me the chance to explain anything, let alone believe me) I never want to be seen as innocent when I'm not. One thing I always try my best to live by is I want the most honest in any given situation, even when it's not easy to hear. My motto is: A harsh truth is better than a sweet lie, and I won't accept what I don't deserve for good or bad.
That being said, some of the rumors I heard had to do with me pretending to be a part of organizations I was never a part of. I never said that and I would never want recognition for being part of anything I'm not actually a part of. This is the only place I'll make any statements about this and this is it: I have never been a legal part of any organizations, I wanted to help with a few and it was an honor to do anything that helped them achieve their goals. I never lied to any of the individuals involved at any point and I never want or wanted anything I did or said to negatively affect them.
For the mistakes I made, I am paying everyday for them. I lost friendships and the ability to advocate the way I thought I would for the rest of my life, my actions caused people I loved dearly to need me out of their lives and I deserve to feel that every minute of every day...and I do. I deserve no sympathy for this, nor will I accept even one ounce of it. I'm working on removing myself and my presence on most social media to make sure everyone involved has no fear of me interfering or bothering them in any way. As of this moment I'm only on Tiktok, Youtube and Facebook (I'm working on deleting my facebook, there's years worth so it's taking some time)
I'm not trying to bring the attention anyone who removed me from their world, they don't deserve to hear from me or about me. I won't ever try to put myself in their space, I only wish they knew I'm sorry for what I've done. For my emotional immaturity, my neediness and expecting too much from people who had too much on their plate already. I was petty at times and brought negativity to those who needed and deserved positivity the most.
So to end this, I will forever do whatever I can to help cancer fighters and I will do whatever it takes to never negatively affect anyone the way I have in the past, even if that means not allowing myself to be close to anyone again. I will never say names or talk about anything without full permission of everyone involved ever again.
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